Struggling to get a new job? This is why.

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Looking for a new job is a lot of work. It can take some time and a lot of rejection and vulnerability. But the reason you’re not getting a new job has nothing to do with your resume or the number of jobs available in your field. It’s because of this one reason and it’s a big one. It’s what’s keeping you stuck, stressed, and feeling the pressure to make something work. Listen in this week and not only learn what it is, but learn what to do instead. Mentioned in the podcast:
  1. Grab your spot for the 3 Step Formula to Being Self-Confident When Looking For a Job free workshop: https://lindsaylymancoaching.com/confidence 
  2. Get the 3 steps to deal with a bad manager workshop: https://lindsaylymancoaching.com/badmanager
Want to get help with your specific situation? Let’s schedule a coffee chat. I offer a limited number of 1:1 coffee chats each week. There is no charge for this call so spots fill up fast. Grab time on my calendar at https://lindsaylymancoaching.com/chat and let’s get you feeling unstuck today.  

Before we jump into today’s topic, I want to have a little bit of an honest conversation with you. If you are struggling to find a new job, it’s not because you need to change something on your resume or due to the fact that there’s not as many positions available in your particular field. It’s because no one has taught you how to confidently navigate today’s job market. How you go about finding a job today is very different than how you got your previous job.

I’m teaching a free workshop where I’m going to teach you my proven three-step formula to confidently finding a new job. It’s going to be on February 23rd at 9:00 a.m. Pacific time. So, click the link in the show notes and grab a spot. Space is limited. Or you can go to Lindsay Lyman Coaching SLC Confidence and grab your spot. If you’re ready to start feeling better and make finding a new job easier, come to this course. This is the only time I’m teaching it. And if you want to get access to the replay, you’ve got to make sure you’re signed up for it. So again, go to lindsy liman coaching.com confidence or click the link in the show notes to learn how to confidently find a job in today’s job market.

Hey, I’m Lindsay Lyman. I worked almost 12 years at Amazon and saw so many brilliant and successful overachievers burn themselves out and leave their jobs because they’re so stressed and anxious. But guess what? Having a successful career does not have to be at the expense of your mental sanity and personal time. There’s an easier way, and I can show you how. Let’s do this.

I remember when I was in middle school, I really just wanted to make some money. What for? I honestly don’t even know. I mean, I was probably seven or eight at the time. What does a seven or eight-year-old spend their money on? Like toys and candy? Who knows? But I really wanted to make some money, so I started asking my parents if there were some jobs around the house I could do in addition to my chores where they would be willing to pay me. And we found a few things, but you know, that only got me so far. So then I thought, well, let’s go ask the neighbors. And I would go and ask the neighbors, and some of them did, and some of them didn’t. But again, I’m eight, and some of the things they wanted me to do I was like, yeah, I don’t really want to do that, or I wasn’t very good at it, so I didn’t get a lot of repeat business. You know, I was too young to babysit. I was too young to go out and find a job. But then I realized one day our school lunches at the time were 90¢, so most kids would bring a dollar for hot lunch and they would get a dime back. Well, as an 8-year-old, a dime is annoying to keep track of and to not lose. So I very quickly realized there’s a whole bunch of kids walking around here at lunch with a dime that they’re annoyed with that I would like to have. So I just started asking people, “Can I have your dime?” And some of them said no, but most of them said yes. And I started collecting dimes. Now, this was a non-traditional way for an eight-year-old to go about making some money, but I would make about two bucks a day, which isn’t bad for me just going around asking kids in the lunchroom, “Can I have your dime?” This was something I really wanted, so I was willing to get creative and to find different ways to make it happen. As you’re trying to find a job today, I think a similar concept applies of we’ve got to get creative and find some different ways to make it happen.

About five or six years ago, I was still working at Amazon and my position was eliminated. I was laid off, and this was not during the recent layoffs where that it was pretty common. This was very uncommon. I had been working on a team where they had recruited me to come to help bring some of the Amazon culture to this team. And through a reorg, leadership changed and shifted, and the new leader came and eliminated a handful of women’s positions on the team. But that’s another topic for another day. I just sold my house in Seattle, and my family and I had moved. I was the sole provider for my family at the time, and I was freaking out because this had never happened to me and I didn’t know what to do. At the same time, Amazon had implemented this process they called span of control where essentially they’re trying to make sure they don’t have too many midlevel managers. So if you were a manager, you had to make sure you had a certain number of people reporting to you. Well, through this span of control process, they eliminated a handful of positions as well. So traditionally at Amazon, the previous six years I had been there, when you were ready to rotate teams, you would have a coffee chat and meet with people and go through like a modified interview process, and you would be able to get a job. At the time, I’d been with Amazon for like six or seven years where the average employee lasts under two, so I was usually able to find a new position pretty easily. I could kind of pick what I wanted and have some specific requests, and because of my performance, because of my tenure, I was able to find a job pretty easily. But during this particular time, those things weren’t working. People didn’t care how long I had been with the company. I couldn’t even get people to take an informal coffee chat with me because there were so many internal people at the time looking for other jobs. People were not even entertaining coffee chats. It was just too much. I was applying for jobs and not hearing anything back. I was trying to utilize my network and see if my friends knew of other things, but nothing was working. And I started to feel really desperate. And when I was feeling desperate, I doubled down on doing those quote-unquote right things where I was like following up with people to the point that it was annoying and no way were they going to hire me because I was bugging them. I was the like pick-me girl, I can do anything. Like, I was getting desperate, which also isn’t very attractive to someone because they can pick up on that desperation and they’re like, no, you just want a job, you don’t actually want this job, you’re going to be a problem that I’m going to have to manage. I even started looking at other options of like, well, do we sell the house we just bought and move in with family? Like, I was feeling very desperate and worried that I was not going to be able to find another job and provide for my family. But then I got some coaching, and the thought that really helped kind of kick me out of that like desperate panic feeling was knowing I just needed one job. And at the time, there were thousands of jobs available internally at Amazon, and I knew that I could find just one. And thinking of it that way felt a lot less intense.

So as I felt easier and better, I started to change what I was doing to try to find a job. As I started to feel better, I started to think, okay, if I already had this job, what would I be doing? And I went and I did some of those things for people ahead of time, not even having the job. I started pitching myself differently. I started adding value ahead of time. I started looking for the one job I wanted, not at all the parts of it that were so hard and challenging. I got out of the chat rooms and stopped talking to other people that were panicking and freaking out looking for a job. And I worked really hard at getting that narrative out of my head. And I stopped talking to other people about how hard it was, and I started talking about what I was looking for and the one next thing I was going to try.

Through that process, I was able to find another job at Amazon. And not everyone that was looking for a job internally did. But if you find yourself looking for a new job, feeling panicked because one, you don’t have a job, or two, you hate your current job so bad you just will do anything to get out, here’s what I want to offer you to think about. The worst thought you could be having and telling yourself is, “It’s so hard to find a job in today’s job market.” There is zero benefit to thinking that. There is zero, like not an ounce of goodness is going to come from that. Whether it’s true or not doesn’t matter. You know who doesn’t believe it’s super hard to find a job in today’s market? People that are getting jobs. I go on LinkedIn almost once a day, and every single time my feed refreshes with someone announcing that they just got a job. People are getting hired. They are not the ones thinking it’s so hard to find a job in today’s market.

But here’s the thing. If you find yourself stuck in that belief pattern, your brain wants to believe it so badly for a couple reasons. Okay, one, your brain would rather be right than feel good. And if you’re on a lot of social media sites or networking sites, there’s a lot of people out there talking about how hard the job market is today, giving you reason to believe the narrative that your brain keeps telling you, “This is hard.” So your brain really would rather be right than feel good. So it’s trying to prove itself right. So the more you think the thought, “The job market’s hard,” the more your brain is going to work to prove that.

Your brain also wants to justify. If you haven’t found a job yet or if you’ve been applying and none of them have worked out, it’s so much easier to blame the job market than to feel like you have to blame yourself. So partly, it’s also your brain’s way of trying to preserve itself and make itself feel good. It’s okay. It makes sense. Like, we don’t want to beat the crap out of ourselves if we’re not getting jobs and it’s not working out. But your brain just wants to blame something. So it’s going to try to keep helping you believe this thought, “It’s a hard job market right now.”

The third reason your brain wants to believe this so badly is because you have a mindset of scarcity. Of there’s not enough. There’s not enough jobs. There’s not enough money. There’s not enough promotions or titles or scope or people to manage or opportunities. And when your brain believes there’s not enough, again, it’s trying to be right and trying to preserve you and your self-judgment. And it wants to blame the things outside of you. And it wants to keep showing you how there’s not enough.

But thinking of it this way feels terrible and it’s very stressful and makes you panic and have a lot of stress and pressure. It makes it rushed and in a hurry. And you know what happens when that’s how you’re feeling? We do crazy things. Look at people during the pandemic that went out and bought months and months worth of toilet paper. People were nervous. They were feeling scared. They were feeling pressure. They were feeling worried there wasn’t going to be enough. So they’re buying up as much toilet paper as they could. Where logically, if everyone just bought the amount of toilet paper they needed, there would be enough. The toilet paper industry is very good at understanding supply and demand. But when demand spiked and increased because of scarcity thinking, people were doing crazy things.

I see this as well today. I really enjoy baking, and I like to bake with a particular flour called Kimo, which if you’ve never used, you should use it. It’s so delicious. And the Food Nanny, whom I love and follow, she sells Kimo flour, and I like buying it through her and supporting her and her business. Due to lots of reasons, they’ve been having some supply challenges, and so Fridays, they do a stock, and this stuff sells out so fast because, again, there’s this scarcity mindset of, “If I don’t get this and buy as much as I possibly can, I’m going to run out of this and it’s not going to be enough, so I have to buy, buy, buy as much as I need.”

This is your brain in a scarcity mindset. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel safe. It doesn’t feel open. It doesn’t feel calm. And when that’s how we feel, we do extreme things that don’t necessarily align with the kind of person we want to be long-term.

So how do you know you’re in the scarcity mindset? Usually, it shows up by having a lack of motivation and being truly convinced nothing is going to work. It’s kind of this doom or gloom and hopelessness that’s looming over you as you’re pretending to go out and try to find a new job. You know you’re in a scarcity mindset around finding a new job when you’re just desperate to take a job that maybe you’re overqualified for or you’re underpaid for, and you just feel like you’re stuck in that job no matter what. I think it’s different if you take an interim job to try to get to where you want to go, but the scarcity mindset comes from like, “This is all I can get. I have to take this and now I’m stuck here.”

You know you’re in a scarcity mindset when you feel so overwhelmed you don’t even start or really work on finding a new job. And this one is like my biggest giveaway that I’m in a scarcity mindset is when my brain is telling me all of the “buts,” right? So someone will say, “Oh, have you tried this?” And you’re like, “Yeah, but…” And your brain has a million excuses as to why it’s not going to work. So some of the “buts” I’ve heard lately from my clients is they’re trying to figure out how to change their careers or get new jobs. It’s the things like, “Yeah, but I’m too old to be making this switch now.” “They’re not going to want to hire me knowing I’m close to retirement.” Or, “I don’t have enough experience.” Or, one of my clients was worried because they were pregnant and they were worried they weren’t going to get hired because of that.

Some of the “buts” are like, “Yeah, but it doesn’t pay enough.” Or, “But I don’t want to take a step down.” Do you see how your brain offers you all these like “but” excuses as to why this thing someone else is offering you might be an option won’t work? Because your brain is in scarcity. It’s in all-or-nothing mode.

But here’s the reality. Guess what? There’s a job out there for you. There really is. And you only need one job. We just gotta go find it. That’s okay. You know what else is true? Finding a job, it’s easier than ever. Hear me out, okay? You can be in your bed, in your pajamas, looking like a hot mess, and guess what? You can go online and search and find thousands of jobs available. You don’t even have to get out of bed. You can research companies and even the people you’re going to talk to. You can network through people who know people who you know through online networks and find people who know these people you’re going to be interviewing with. You can create content and market and sell yourself every day through dozens of different platforms. It’s easier than ever. You can learn about the interview process and what to expect from hundreds of other people that have already been through it. In fact, they will even give you exact questions that will most likely be asked and allow you to prepare for it. You can do all of this online. You don’t even have to travel and meet in person to interview and apply for these jobs. Like, did you know it’s actually easier than ever to find and get jobs these days?

But you’ve got to get your brain out of this “it’s so hard to find a job” thought pattern. Stop being mad that the step-by-step process is changing. Good employees, they know how to take an existing process, be agile and flexible with the changes, and go and make it work. Because guess what? You cannot control the game. So stop trying. Stop trying to get the specific step-by-steps to get there. What you can control is you. And guess what, my friend? You’re the prize that is within your control. It comes down to having the self-confidence to believe you can do this job, they’re crazy not to hire you, and something’s going to work out. It comes down to believing in the value and skills that you offer. That’s it.

But if you find your brain stuck in this scarce thought loop, that is where your brain is going to keep focusing you. You’ve got to redirect it to something that feels more empowering. I’m not saying to think positive. Finding a new job, it’s work. There’s a lot of rejection and vulnerability that comes into it, 100% agree with that. But it’s not doom and gloom. You’re not stuck. You’re not out of options. Finding a new job these days is easier than ever. You have so many resources and tools available to you. All you need is one job. I guarantee in the whole world, there’s one job out there for you. So practice redirecting your brain there and start taking action from that place.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this podcast, I’m offering a one-time only free workshop where I’m going to walk you through my proven three-step formula of how do you have that self-confidence to go out and find a new job. So if you didn’t do it at the beginning, I would encourage you to do it now. Go to lindsaylymancoaching.com/confidence or click the link in the show notes and sign up for this free workshop to learn the proven three steps so that you can start feeling better and more hopeful and for it to be a little bit easier as you’re trying to find this new job. It’s out there. We just got to get you to feeling better so that you go out there and find it and show up as you because the more you’re you, the more likely you are to get hired.

All right, y’all. You’re amazing. You got this. We’ll talk soon. If what you’re learning from this podcast is helping, this is just the beginning. Each week, I offer a limited number of coffee chats so that you and I can connect one-on-one and talk specifically about what’s going on for you. You’ll leave this call feeling more hopeful and motivated. But I’m also going to teach you a few things to try right away to get unstuck. Space is very limited, and these are free, so grab your spot before they’re gone. Click the link in the show notes or go to lindsaylymancoaching.com/chat and sign up today. You got this.

3 Steps to Deal with a Bad Manager - Free Workshop

Bad leaders cause a lot of churn, constant changes in priorities kill your timelines, and the anxiety from the next unknown escalation is not sustainable.

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Hey, I’m Lindsay Lyman

I spent the last ~12 years growing my career at Amazon. I’ve built teams, launched new products, and created my own jobs. As a certified coach, I teach people how to manage the noise in their head to feel motivated and valued at work again.

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