There’s a lot of hype around knowing what your “why” is in everything you do. Why do you want to get promoted? Why do you want to change teams? Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to breakup? Why do you want to change jobs? The theory is that the more you understand and believe your why, the more action you will take to get what you want.
I don’t disagree, but there’s one secret that the quizzes and books don’t tell you. And this secret is the key to guaranteeing that your why motivates you every time.
The secret to finding a “why” that guarantees to motivate and energize you every time is making it about you and not anyone else. If your why is so someone else can feel a certain way or have a certain experience, it’s a recipe for disaster.
For example, let’s say you don’t like your mom and can’t stand your step-dad, but are planning on taking your family to visit them. If your “why” is so your kids can have a relationship with their grandparents- I promise it’s not going to go well. You can provide opportunities for people to connect, but you can’t make anyone have a relationship.
Or maybe you think you are fat and want to lose weight. If your “why” is so people will want to date you, it’s not going to last long term. At the first rejection after losing the weight chances are you will start gaining it back.
Maybe you want to manage a team. If your “why” is so you can get promoted and be more respected by your peers, you are probably going to hate managing people.
These “whys” all sound logical and like they would be helpful, but they all depend on things outside of your control. You can’t control how people feel. You can’t control what other people do or say. When you give that up and focus on a why that’s about you, that’s when you become unstoppable.
If we take the examples above and make them about you instead, it might look something like the follow:
– I want to take my kids to visit with my mom and step-dad because I believe family is important and am the type of mom that prioritizes family even when I don’t want to.
– I want to lose weight because I feel more energized and willing to try new things when I’m not always thinking about my weight.
– I want to manage a team because I want to learn a new skill and help mentor others.
Theses whys are all about you. How YOU want to feel. What YOU want to do. Since you can’t control anyone but yourself, having a why about yourself is the way to be unstoppable at reaching your goals.
If you want help finding your why, let’s jump on the phone and get you some free coaching. So much can change in just 20 minutes. Sign up HERE.
Chat soon,
LB
