I had a big project on my to do list for about 2 months. I knew it needed to get done and it would help reach out goals, but it literally has 30 steps for each element and I need to create over 150 elements.
It’s safe to say I HATED this project. I always have. I’ve worked really hard to be past the execution part of my career. I’m all in around the strategy and testing plans, but pushing all the buttons makes me want to poke my eyes out.
This project landed on my plate because the person who owns it is out on leave. They will come back and I’ll gladly hand it all back to them, but for the next few months, it’s all me.
This project had been looming over my head for 2 months and was seriously stressing me about. I knew t has to get done, but I didn’t want to do it. Then I got called out about it and was asked for a project plan update. I knew it would happen sooner than later, but it just doubled the stress.
I thought a lot about this and asked myself, who do I want to be? How do I want to show up at work? Am I the type of person that has integrity and honesty or do I focus more on looking good and giving people what they want? I knew the answer so when I decided to show up from integrity I simply told the truth.
I send an updated project plan to my manager, but also sent the most honest email of my career. I admitted that I dropped the ball and owned up to it, but also told him why. I admitted to hating this project, but knew that I still had to do it.
It felt so amazing to just be honest and own up to it. I’ve been stewing and trying to hid that I’ve not worked on it for weeks. Today I just told the truth and while I still have to do the work I feel so much better. Showing up as your genuine self is always the best way to show up because what other option do you really have.
My manager has not responded yet and it might backfire on me, but I believe honesty is always the right answer.
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