What to do when your colleague is driving you insane

Listen on:

We’ve all had times when we have to work with that ONE person. You know. The one who takes credit for everyone’s work and is always schmoozing with upper management, but is the worst team player.

They can be so hard to work with because you want to keep a close eye on them so you don’t get thrown under the bus, but you loath interacting with them. Sometimes even just seeing them makes you roll your eyes and do everything you can to avoid them. And I’m sure you are not the only on on the team that feels this way.

It sucks because THAT person can easily ruin a good day.

I’ve been in this situation a few times over the years. It’s sadly even how I bonded with some of my team members. Nothing like a shared hatred of someone to bring the group together.

A couple years ago I was working with someone that bother me so much it was starting to effect my performance. I was so obsessed with how much I hated them that I was not getting things done or doing them very well. That’s when I realized something had to change. It was either them or me.

I knew logically that I can’t control anyone but myself so that left we with the option to rotate teams or put on my adult pants and stop having temper tantrums about reality.

I was NOT in a place where I could “see the good” in them, but I could just look at reality and drop the drama. So that’s what I did.

They would come into work and instead of thinking about all the things they do that bothers me, I just though, so and so is at work.

Instead of stewing about the meeting I was going to be in with them I just acknowledge that the reality was they were going to be there, but I could still be me.

Slowly, but surely it got better. Don’t get me wrong. They did not change a dang thing. But I changed what I was focused on. Waisting all of my emotion energy on them was getting me nowhere, but taking back control of my emotion energy and purposefully choose to focus on other things was so much better.

I never did get to a place where I enjoyed working with them, but I was able to be totally neutral about them. They were not good or bad. They were just a person on the team.

I rotated teams, but now when our paths cross I don’t even think twice about it. It feels so great to be in control of my emotions when they are around.

So if there is someone you are having a hard time working with, for one day try to stop arguing with reality and just keep telling yourself, “They are just a person on the team” and see how it goes.

If you want help applying this to your specific situation, let’s jump on the phone and hook you up with some free coaching. Sign up here.. I only offer a few free coaching spots a week so grab one before they fill up.

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Hey, I’m Lindsay Lyman

I spent the last ~12 years growing my career at Amazon. I’ve built teams, launched new products, and created my own jobs. As a certified coach, I teach people how to manage the noise in their head to feel motivated and valued at work again.

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